Beagle Knows Best!
by Fenix14
Summary: What happens when you think no one's watching! Pure fluff, told firsthand by Porthos himself. Light AT'P friendship-romance.


Title: Beagle Knows Best!

Rating: PG

Summary: What happens when no one is watching…err, when you *think* no one is watching! Porthos gets his say.

Author's Note: Dedicated to my own beagle, Baylee, who was the inspiration for this piece of fluff.

Contact: curlyfiend@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine…

***

I suppose no one considers my opinion because I'm a dog. But face it, people, just because I'm an animal doesn't mean I don't have instincts. And I know my Daddy better than anyone - he's smitten. 

You want my opinion? I think she's perfect for him. She's full of interesting smells, for one thing, and I'm usually a pretty good judge of character based on the way someone smells. It's not a particularly nice scent, like poop or cheddar cheese - it's more like that stuff that Daddy uses to wash his hair every morning. With a hint of something refreshing that reminds me of the sweets Daddy will give me around Christmas. I'd love to give her a good lick to see if she really tastes like sweets, but Daddy always gets angry at me when I try. I suppose it's because he wants to lick her first. 

She's also not afraid of him. Now, I'm not saying Daddy's a scary Man, but he's very confident and powerful and it sort of makes people want to obey his every command. Like when he says, "Down, Porthos!" And down I go! It's very hard not to obey Daddy. But this Vulcan Lady stands up to him even when she knows he won't like it, and she seems to calm him down when he's upset. 

Last night Daddy had a bunch of his friends over for dinner. I love it when that happens, because I can always count on someone to chuck me some handouts if I sit around and look cute enough. Especially Hoshi. I adore Hoshi! Besides Daddy and his Vulcan lady friend, she has to be the nicest person I've ever met. I can always count on some great ear-scratching sessions from her, and she always saves me the best part of her dinner to supplement the measley food portions I get twice a day. That's the tough thing about being cute, at least according to Daddy. I need to watch my weight otherwise my back starts to hurt. 

But anyways, I had strategically placed myself close to Hoshi so that I could catch the handouts before that weird man in the white lab coat saw me eat them. I really don't like him very much, he reminds me of The Vet, and he told Daddy that I wasn't allowed to have cheese anymore. And I don't think he would approve of my helping Hoshi finish her dinner. 

So there I was, sitting underneath the table, staring at all the many pairs of feet and waiting for the food to start falling. Every now and then I would lift my nose and make sure they were still eating, because humans have the strangest habit of talking while they eat. It's so weird! When Daddy gives me my meals, I get straight down to business. You won't find me discussing sports games, or what Ensign So-and-so did on their shift that day! The only one who doesn't talk much when she eats is that Vulcan Lady. That's another reason I like her, she seems to be a big fan of food obviously.

But they were talking so much! And I could tell by the soft, subdued tones of the conversation that they were all discussing something serious. Hmmmf. Rather boring if you ask me, when were they going to realize there was food on the table and eat it? I heard Daddy's voice a lot, but that doesn't surprise me. Whenever he has his friends over, it's usually him doing all the talking. What surprised me was that this time, I heard the Vulcan Lady talking too. I really wish I could understand what they were saying because whenever those two start talking in hushed tones it usually means that Daddy wants to mate with her. I can tell that he does because I can smell him starting to sweat, and he gives off that signal that he's ready to mate. I think they should too, because if Daddy has puppies there will be someone around for me to play with! Oh, I love puppies!

Sorry, I got sidetracked there for a moment. But all this talk was really boring me to the point where I had stood up and started to sniff around for something interesting to do. It was a bit crowded under the table with all those feet. Trip's feet in particular caught my attention. I love that guy, he's always filled with the kinds of smells that make a dog happy. If I could raid any dirty clothes hamper out of all the humans I know, I would have a field day in his. I had just finished plowing my nose over his shoes (he had gently nudged me away) and was ready to jump into his lap to have a whiff at his trousers when things grew terribly quiet.

Now, I usually get scared when it gets quiet like that, because it usually means I'm about to get into trouble. Like that last time when I had to Gopotty! really bad while Daddy was in the shower, and I ended up not being able to hold it long enough. There was a long silence. I saw Daddy's hand underneath the table reach out and curl around over the Vulcan Lady's. She gave a little jerk when it happened, like she wasn't expecting it, but I saw her fingers relax and Daddy began to stroke it gently. I decided I was really jealous of her at that moment; it should be me getting a nice rub from Daddy's hands, not her! Maybe they had forgotten I was there. Well, I was going to remind them.

I trotted over and placed my front paws on the Vulcan Lady's knees. The result was exactly what I expected; I heard her give a short gasp, and there was a loud clatter as she dropped that metal thing that humans eat with. Daddy's hand immediately released hers. I could hear the chairs scraping against the floor as all of Daddy's friends scooted out to have a look under the table. I, on the other hand, had been distracted by the object I associated with food falling on the floor, thanks to Daddy's lovely Vulcan friend, and had run over to clean it up before they could take it away from me. But my cover was blown.

"Porthos!" Daddy scolded. I immediately dropped my tail between my legs and cowered. See what I mean? He grabbed my collar and began to lead me away from the table to Bed. I saw Hoshi staring at me sympathetically and I whined for her support. 

"Bad, bad boy," Daddy chastised me. My ears fell again. "We're almost finished now, I'll feed you in just a moment! Be patient!"

I whined again and made my best cute face. Hoshi awwwed.

"Actually, Captain, I really should get going," she said, never taking her eyes off me. See? The cuteness factor works every time! "I've got some work I need to finish, and Porthos looks like he's hungry."

I decided I owed Hoshi a good face-licking for that one. But I threw in another whimper for good measure.

As she headed towards the door, she stopped to give me a good pat and, (JOY!!) a chunk of potato she had been saving. Make that two good face-lickings! My tail wagged happily as I inhaled the food, and I vaguely heard her thank Daddy for dinner before leaving the room. Hoshi is amazing.

"You spoiled little brat, you," Daddy said as I rooted around the floor, licking up every last morsel. 

"Yes, thank you for dinner, Captain!" This time it was the weird man who stood up. He gave a loud, hearty belch and promptly excused himself. I noticed the Vulcan Lady flinch, but she said nothing. People! Always offended or ashamed by a healthy bit of gas! In fact, that reminds me of that one time where Trip had had too many steamed veggies with his dinner, and he tried to blame it on me! Why not fess up to it, buddy old boy?

I wagged my tail again as the weird man walked past me towards the door, not really expecting anything from him, but hey, it never hurts to try. Trip followed shortly behind him. "Cap'n," he nodded on his way out.

That left me with the Vulcan Lady, who most definitely was not going to feed me after I pulled that stunt earlier to keep Daddy from holding her hand. She remained sitting down, staring at the floor, and the quiet mood once again returned. I don't blame her. I'd be upset if Daddy stopped stroking me too, it feels *really* good! 

I heard Daddy sigh. He ran his hands through his hair, and I wagged my tail to try and give him moral support. Now that they were finally alone he felt awkward. Want some advice from me? Lick her ears. Females always love it when you lick their ears, and this female in particular has different ears from Daddy's. I wonder if that's how you tell the difference physically between male and female people. I've never noticed Hoshi's ears, so I can't really say. But it seems to make sense to me. 

"Listen, about…about what you were talking about before we were interrupted," Daddy began.

He was talking about me! Surely that meant I was going to be fed, finally! I began to get excited and the slow trickle of drool coming from my mouth made it hard for me to focus on Daddy's important conversation. Can you blame me though? I was *hungry!* I'm always hungry! 

"I just wanted you to know I'm sorry," he was saying. "I know saying that doesn't ease the pain of his passing, but if it helps any to have some sympathy…I too know what it's like to lose a father, T'Pol."

The Vulcan Lady didn't look up. "It's not particularly painful, Captain, as grief doesn't affect me the way it does humans. It was simply unexpected, that's all."

My tail stopped wagging. The long ribbon of drool that was hanging from my tongue dripped onto the floor. Come on, food! I know what the Vulcan Lady had to say was important, but my poor little stomach was shriveling at the thought of having to wait much longer. Is this what they mean by patience? Poor Vulcan Lady. The sooner I cheered her up, the sooner Daddy would be happy, and the sooner I could eat. I wanted to run over and lick her face because she looked like she needed it, but I didn't want Daddy to yell at me again. They were talking in that hushed, quiet way that suggested they wanted to mate and I suspected to smell Daddy sweating any time.

He never got the chance. The Vulcan Lady finally stood, arranging her used tableware neatly in a pile, and began to walk towards the door. Daddy intercepted her. "Hey," he said, opening his arms wide, and drawing her into them before she could protest. The hug lingered just a little longer than necessary before he stepped back, clearing his throat nervously as he did so. 

The Vulcan Lady looked confused. "Why…"

"Because you looked like you needed it," Daddy said. Good boy. Daddy was a thoughtful man. The Vulcan Lady still looked uncertain, but she blinked it away and nodded. "Thank you." Her eyes never left his. They want to mate, I know they do!

Instead Daddy reached over and pressed the button to open the door. "Don't hesitate to call me if you'd like to talk about it," he added. 

"I'll remember that," the Vulcan Lady promised. She glanced back at me, her eyebrows raising, before giving Daddy another lingering look. "Goodnight, Captain." 

As the door hissed closed behind her, Daddy gave me a particularly rough scratch behind the ear that told me his mind was somewhere else. He was smitten. Remind me to give the Vulcan Lady a good sniff the next time she comes, because I want to make sure she's right. I mean, I'm sure she is. Who else could make Daddy so happy that he sings while cleaning up the dishes? But still, I only want the best for my Man, because he deserves someone special. I've got to look out for him, you know.

I threw back my head and gave a loud "Woof!" Daddy, still humming to himself, set the dishes down. "Oh, I'm sorry, boy! You ready for dinner?"

Dinner! Was he serious? I'm always ready for dinner! I licked my chops and wagged my tail happily as I heard the beautiful sound of kibble hitting my food dish. 

"And you get *two* pieces of cheese for that little stunt you pulled earlier," he added. How's that?"

TWO pieces of cheese! I was so excited I could hardly contain myself! It took all my concentration not to swallow his fingers as he dropped the glorious cheese into my waiting mouth. They were gone in seconds, and Daddy didn't waste any time setting down my bowl after that.

As I munched away happily, Daddy's singing resumed. The Vulcan Lady deserved a full face-lick for that…that is, if Daddy doesn't lick her first!


End file.
